If you’re not able or willing to read the post below, have a listen to the audio above.
At the beginning of the year, I decided to try something different. I was feeling stuck toward the end of last year and prayed for some clarity, ease, inspiration and connection.
A couple of individuals, books, lectures and courses flowed my way, all which pointed to a decidedly different view of and approach to life for me that would become the answer to my prayers: follow my intuition.
What does that entail?
More feeling, listening and receiving, less thinking.
Instead of pushing or forcing myself, I would allow myself to be pulled, compelled, inspired.
For someone who has lived her whole life doing quite the opposite, this was a tall order. Pushing myself, pushing through, pushing forward had been my m.o. up to that point. For me, pushing was the only way I could attain, achieve and experience what I wanted. I thought, how could I possibly trust I’ll have the life I want if I don’t push?
And less thinking? I’m a person who values critical thinking and prides herself in being a critical thinker. How can less thinking possibly help me experience more clarity in life?
What does more feeling, listening and receiving even look like?
I was reluctant to apply this new approach, but I also knew that the way I was going about life wasn’t working all that well for me either. This allowed my ego to surrender a bit, and me to commit to this new thing.
To apply this new approach successfully, I needed to access and connect to my intuition. According to experts, meditation is the best way to do this as it helps us go beyond the conscious mind (5% of the mind) and access the subconscious mind (95% of the mind) where intuition resides.
In my experience, meditation is in fact the entry point for me.
I also needed to pay attention to my emotions, how I was feeling at any given moment. Being mindful of my emotional frequency allowed me to see what I truly desired, what I was believing, and whether I was following my intuition/heart/gut or should-ing myself from the ego/conscious mind.
Case in point: I started documenting my emotional frequency throughout the days and realized just how much anxiety and dread would come up when I was about to exercise.
I was married to the ideas of “no pain, no gain,” “pushing through the resistance” and that I wasn’t going to get the body I wanted unless I exercised in that Crossfit, pounding athlete type of way. I dismissed the fact that I was a dancer at heart. But even after years of doing those types of rigorous exercises (and consuming all the “healthy” foods), I actually gained fat and felt heavier, sluggish and dissatisfied.
So when I realized I got anxious before working out, I figured, what the hell, it’s not like this old way was working for me anyway. I said to hell with it, I’m going to go with my intuition and stop should-ing all over myself about this.
One day, I woke up, did my meditation and felt the impulse to exercise that day. Instead of thinking of specific exercises, I described how I wanted to feel and what kinds of movements I wanted to do: I want to sweat, I want swift movements and I want to feel energized. I thought of doing some calisthenics since that was what I learned from fitness experts and usually did in the past to try to have that experience, but I wasn’t 100 about it – definitely wasn’t an absolute YES for me.
As I sat for a few minutes after that in silence, all of a sudden, a dancehall song started playing in my head. I instinctively put the song and subsequently played my dancehall playlist on my speakers. And one thing I’ve always known about myself is that my body just starts moving on its own when I hear certain kinds of music, particularly those of the African diaspora. So I automatically ended up freestyle dancing and couldn’t stop for FOUR HOURS.
I was sweating, I had the swift movements and energy I desired. My legs, waist and hips would start burning, but I couldn’t stop because I loved the music and dancing to it so much. I felt so good, so in that frequency of love. I was like, oh shit, this is what those runners feel when they talk about that second wind (which I’ve never experienced because I would force myself to run when I really didn’t want to)!
While I was looking at myself dancing in the mirror (don’t judge me), I realized I didn’t have to move my body so intensely to make major impact with my dancing because the fat on my body accentuated the moves nicely; in fact, I was better able to engage my core as a result.
Yes, the fat was making the dance moves look better; the fat was conducive to the exercise! I was truly seeing my body, as is, as something beneficial, sexy and amazing – not just saying a mantra or affirmation I didn’t really believe. I felt I was experiencing and cultivating true self love.
I received even more amazing insight. Had I gone and done the calisthenics as I originally thought to do, I most definitely wouldn’t have done it for four hours because I loved it so much like I did with the inspired dancing. And I most likely would have seen my body as a problem, a burden; that the fat was making the exercises harder and me feel heavier.
I was absolutely blown away by this experience. I didn’t think or plan “I’m going to put this song on right now and then I’m going to dance.” Instead, I received the song in my mind and flowed into this enlightening experience where I manifested what I was asking for—clarity, ease, inspiration and connection—in the most unexpected way. That was the unexpected sign/experience I needed to know that this intuitive approach to life is very true to my nature, and the pathway to knowing the truth about myself. I joked with my friends that I was “twerking with purpose.”
It’s been a couple of months now that I’ve been living a more intuitive life, applying this approach to all areas in life beyond exercise. I can report I feel more of a flow in my daily life. When I do feel choppy, it’s due to my wanting to push, think myself into or out of something, or “make something happen” – old habits can die hard.
I now end up making the more loving choice; following my intuition has guided me toward self-care and self-love without fail.
I am much more in touch with my core desires.
I am more able to enjoy and be present with the process of manifestation, not just the specific outcome.
I am better able to tap into, trust and value my inner wisdom, not simply prioritize, follow and internalize what the “experts” have to say.
And because I’m connecting with a more expansive part of myself, I’m getting to know myself and what I’m capable of a lot more.